


That's The Way We Get By

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-30
Updated: 2005-12-30
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin in New York, all that I can say is Brian digs bands like The Fiery Furnaces and Sleater-Kinney, and he isn't afraid to tell Justin. Thanks to Spoon for the lovely words.





	1. In Which Brian is Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: I had a flash of inspiration at 4 in the morning with "The Way We Get By" and loads of other indie songs on rotation on iTunes, and I missed my Brian and Justin so much that I'm almost turning into a Brokeback Mountain worshipper, but nothing can top my boys!  


* * *

We go to sleep to shake appeal/ Never wake up on our own

Brian woke up in his arms. In New York.

Justin watched as Brian’s eyes felt the first rays of sunlight as he held him in the early morning hours. He was waking up in the arms of this blonde lithe artist, a man Brian felt had taken from him everything he could ever possibly imagine. It was the best feeling in the world.

Truth was, Brian had no idea what he was doing there. He lied to Justin and told him he gave his staff the summer off because they had had such a great year, but the truth was he put Ted in charge because he himself had had another mid-life crisis and needed to be with the only person in the world who understood him. Of course Justin knew none of this and never would. The tricky part would be how to explain to Justin that he was going to be staying with him forever…

And that’s the way we get by/Way we get by

It was the fourth morning in which I woke up in Justin’s arms. His skin was even softer than I had remembered, smelling like lavender and baby power. I wanted to tell him that I was fucking everything up, that when he came home again it was possible that he might not even have one. I might not even have one, and it scared the fuck out of me, but I feel it…the look Justin gives me when he wakes up before me and I have the chance to say that I woke up in Justin Taylor’s arms…

“You’re fucking beautiful when you sleep.” Justin whispered into my ear as he cupped my cheek. 

“Makes me want to lock you away forever.” Fuck. He read minds now?

“Mmmmm. You’re not so shabby yourself.’’ Fact was, Justin had the most gorgeous morning face I had ever seen on anyone, even as the years went by.

“Marry me.” FUCK.

“What? Stop kidding around. One of these days I’m actually going to.”

If he married me, then I could tell him. I could tell him right now. Imagine that conversation: 

“Baby, look. I lied to you. I don’t have the summer off. In fact, Kinnetic is losing money, and I needed a break from my fucking depressing shitty life without you that I came here to escape and vicariously live through your exciting New York scene exploits.”

Hah. Like I’d ever call Justin’baby.’

“You’re just so fucking adorable that I have to say it.” I kissed him soundly as I sat up.

“And, I have the right now, since I did ask you.” He smirked and grabbed my hand.

“Stay forever here with me.”

I smiled as we got dressed. I watched him as he left for work, some shitty coffeehouse that he was manager at. Something I’m sure he loved. I grabbed a paper from a place as I walked him to work.

“Have a nice day at work, dear.” I fucking love being domestic, even though its sarcasm.

“Fuck you.” He kissed me, tounge shoved down my throat as he stood in the middle of the block, businessmen staring in disgust and teenage girls staring in lust.

“Love you.” I called as he made a heart with his hands on his chest.

If only I could tell him…

You sweet talk like a cop and you know it

After work I convinced Justin to spend the night with me in Central Park, picnic basket in tow. 

“Brian Kinney. A fucking picnic basket? Please. Well I never…” Justin grinned as I flipped him off, stretching out to enjoy the stars that were dotting the early evening sky.

“There’s a new girl at work. Think she’s in love with me.” Justin finished off an egg salad sandwich as his hand snaked its way into mine.

“Should come by tomorrow and fuck you on the counter.” I licked my lips as his eyebrows rose.

“Sounds hot. Maybe I’ll go commando, just for you.”

“Who else, baby?”

The way that ‘baby’ slipped in there was beyond my imagination, and I realized that that was the first sign that I needed to tell him. His reaction was nothing more than usual, except that he was in my arms in a flash.

“Then looking upwards, I strain my eyes and try,” I start to sing softly in his ear as we lay on the soft blanket, my head on nothing but the ground and in my arms, him.

“To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites,” Justin chimes in.

“From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.” We finish together and I realize that this could be our new song, Death Cab for Cutie. Passenger Seat. We could be one of those indie couples Justin sees when he goes to Williamsburg, in Brooklyn, where the music of choice is Rilo Kiley and Ambulance LTD and Interpol, and the people holding hands wear black glasses and have impeccable fashion sense. I could love him more and let him know it this time, like this is different. This could be our Mecca, our homeland. The night is perfect, his soft voice finishing on his own. 

“Since when do you listen to Death Cab? Holy fuck, I don’t know you anymore.” Justin laughed as he flung his arms in the air and I grabbed him for a kiss.

“Maybe I always did and I never told you about it.” Which actually was true. I never thought I was close enough to him.

“Tell me all your secrets, Brian Kinney. Before I agree to marry you.”

Fuck.


	2. In Which Brian Redeems Himself, Because he Is Crazy With Love

  
Author's notes: I had a flash of inspiration at 4 in the morning with "The Way We Get By" and loads of other indie songs on rotation on iTunes, and I missed my Brian and Justin so much that I'm almost turning into a Brokeback Mountain worshipper, but nothing can top my boys!  


* * *

And that’s the way to my heart/Way to my heart

The morning came and Justin called in sick, scrambling back to the couch to scrutinize me.

“Spill, Kinney. Who the fuck are you?”

Fucking Justin was smart. I hated him.

“Justin, I’m still me. I’m just…” unsure of the correct word to use.

“Fucking nuts? A fucking DIFFERENT PERSON!”

I didn’t realize how angry he was with me until he started to tear up, streaming down his face as his legs hid him from view. I fucking dumped all this shit in his lap, and I hadn’t even told him the real reason I was here yet.

“God, Justin, come here. I’m so sorry for making you cry,” I whispered as I held him. I was surprised he let me, but I loved him when he cried. He was so graceful and sure of each tear that fell, and that was something I respected. He cried when it was called for.

“It’s just, for five years we were together, and you acted like some tough shit, like this macho nonchalant asshole who led this fucking bullshit life, like you never gave a fuck about anything important like love, and the second you come out here to my life you turn into the man I always wanted you to be. I don’t get you.”

He started to sob, and I felt like the asshole, the fraud, that I was.

“It was all bullshit, Justin. I know you saw through that the second we saw the sparks fly. And you are the most fucking bravest person I know for loving me, after acting my way through my life, and through us. I know if I were you I couldn’t do it, but you must really have loved me to put up with all the idiotic fucked up things I’ve done to you.”

He stopped and stared at me for a minute.

“So you knew how much you were hurting me? And yourself? And the people you call your “adopted family?”

“Fuck no. I just realized that, if I still wanted you, I had to reveal my true identity. And I guess this is who I really a Justin. I scared, fraudulent, wishful thinker who listens to Death Cab for Cutie and cries at every single song on “Transatlanticism” because it describes what we were going through when you left. And I fucking loved you, because all the times when you said you were onto me, those were the few times where I was onto myself.”

I started sobbing at that moment and it was Justin’s turn to hold me. Either I was extremely bipolar, or I wasn’t the narcissistic asshole everyone thought I was.

“Brian. I love you, its just, wow. I mean, I see guys I want to sleep with, and then I do, and the next day they’re never you. But shit, Brian. You are the fucking man of my dreams.”

We make love to some weird sin/We seek out the taciturn

We made love on the couch at ten in the morning, I let him sit on top of me and enter my slowly, my sobs equaling his moans. I was thrilled and devastated that I had let myself down all these years, but I let him make love to me, kissing my lips and making me remember that he was the only one in the world who loved me enough to do this for.

Fall in love to down on the street/We believe in the sum of ourselves

Justin decided that he would go pick up the Chinese while I waited for him to come back. He was the same, and I was…me. Whatever the fuck that meant. When I heard the key turn I blurted out

“Ilied.Kinneticisn’tclosedit’sopenbuticouldn’tbethereanymoresoIcamehere.”

“What the fuck?” Justin dropped the bags to the floor and closed the door, obviously not understanding a word.

“Justin. I’m afraid you’re gonna need to sit down again for this one.”

I told him, and shockingly, he wasn’t too affected. Instead he came over to me and engulfed me in a hug,

“Bri! Oh my god! No wonder all of this came out now…” It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. It was as if he was thinking right in front of me, I could see the neurons moving to the center of his brain.

“You’re not mad?” I was utterly shocked.

“How could I be mad? Life is fucking crazy. Quit it and move in with me. Ha! Just kidding.”

Motherfucker just played me. For a second I thought he was serious.

“What if that’s exactly what I want to do, Justin? What if the big fucking money isn’t where its at anymore? I have so much saved away that I could buy you and Gus a million fucking palaces. Besides, Kinnetic was losing money without me anyway, they were forcing me to sellout. I need a change. I want to live here with you. If you’ll have me.”

It was the fucking truth. I was a miser. Over the years I had secretly made a fund for Justin in my name and had added three figure amounts to my own savings account that I could buy him a loft on the Upper West Side overlooking Central Park.

“What the hell are you gonna do? Become a fucking troubadour poet and wander throughout Central Park looking like some drunk ass bum?”

He had reason to be ridiculous. It was insane.

“I need to, Justin. I need to be with you. Don’t you need to be with me?”

I asked him, pleading, because actually I wasn’t sure of the answer.

He swallowed and kissed my neck. “I need you more than anything in the world,” he whispered on my skin and I suddenly released the sob I was holding in.

“God. Good, then, mm,” I didn’t know what to say, except that I was a lunatic, in the arms of the one who loved me.

I said that’s the way we get by


End file.
